Thursday, August 4, 2011


The complete lack of even shattered remains of a bottle make this milk appear to have spilled in a violent and unusual way, like that lava lamp that exploded and killed its owner because he put it on a stovetop to make the blobs go faster. Pedestretarian contributor Kelly O did not report any corpses nearby, so either the corpses had been removed or the milk bottle had been recycled. Kelly noted that the milk had no smell, and that there was a large amount of milk, probably a whole bottle. It called to mind a time a bottle of olive oil fell out of my bag in South Lake Union, causing me to yell “shit bag” loudly enough to startle a group of Amazon employees. While profanity did alarm people around me, had I stood there sobbing, they would have assumed I had “emotional problems,” or perhaps that I was “schizophrenic.” We are probably warned against crying over spilled milk in order to avoid these labels. “The milk was a nice reminder not to be a crybaby,” said Kelly, “No use being a crybaby.”

If you find food on the street, send location and description to