Sunday, July 15, 2012


I discovered this half-eaten baked potato on the sidewalk next to a telephone pole one evening while walking to a party with friends. The potato’s lack of toppings apparently made it no less appealing to the many pavement ants that crawled on and around it. There were also several empty mussel shells, a package of wet naps, and an empty beer. The mussel shells led me to believe that at least some of this food assortment was from nearby Taylor Shellfish, where I once ate seven sautéed Mediterranean mussels for a review I was writing, although I am vegetarian and people eating shellfish always look to me like they are ingesting many small whole vaginas. The strangest thing about this group of discarded foods was that it was impossible to imagine how they had been transported. There was no plate to be seen, and why would anyone throw their plate away but leave their beer bottle and wet naps on the ground? Also, it didn’t make sense that someone who drinks on the street would be unable to finish a potato. I am considering buying a beer and a plain baked potato to find out if the beer somehow impedes the potato eating process.

If you find food on the street, send location and description to

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