Monday, September 3, 2012


Surprisingly, this appeared to be the only secret beer discarded outside a beer garden at Seattle Center where drinks of PBR quality ran from 7-10 dollars. If beer gardens were actually gardens, I wouldn’t mind paying 7 dollars for a beer. I would love to drink Miller High Life out of a giant sunflower, especially if it was wearing lederhosen. Even a few marigolds in beer-themed planters would improve the standard beer garden experience. Beer Gardens are concrete corrals where confused, overheated people who are never quite drunk squirm on plastic chairs. I would rather discretely sip a PBR in the bushes outside one such “garden” any day. I was imagining a beer garden resembling Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory when a man reached into the bushes beside the lonely Pabst can and pulled out a half empty Mountain Dew bottle. He took a big gulp, dropped it back in the bushes and walked away.

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